Phone Recordings
Los Angeles Area & Beyond,

Dial-A-Joke & Joke Lines
Segmented & Multiple Recordings
DialAJoke.us

Last Modified Sat 28 Jan 23
Last Modified Unix Time 1674921840

Other pages:
[ Main Page ] [ General Entertainment Page & Funfone / Phunfone ] [ Comment Line Page ] [ Paul Mack Presents Page ]

Jump over directly to the entertainment lines:
[ Aardvark ] [ Ben ] [ Convex ] [ Dial-A-Joke ] [ James Wayman's Dial-A-Joke ] [ Doi Qua ] [ Doctor Don Rose Smile A Phone ]
[ Dial A Joke] [ Fluke ] [ It ] [ Laffline ] [ The Machine ] [ Mainline ] [ Marshall O'Dell ]
[ R ] [ Superfone ] [ Tummies ] [ Uncle Bill ] [ Vermont ] [ The Wrong Number ] [ Zygot ] [ Zzzzzz ]

Table contains menu to otherpages, picture gallery link and logos

Main Page
Last Modified: Sat 28 Jan 2023

Dial-A-Joke's
Segmented Recordings
Last Modified: Sat 28 Jan 2023

General Entertainment
Funfone / Phunfone

Unique Songs & Skits
Last Modified: Sat 28 Jan 2023

Comment Lines
Talk Radio But On The Phone
Last Modified: Sat 28 Jan 2023

Other Recordings
Phone & Radio
Last Modified: Sat 26 Mar 2022

Paul Mack Presents
Last Modified: Tue 4 Apr 2023

Movieline #1 - 50
Last Modified: Tue 4 Apr 2023

Movieline #51 - 100
Last Modified: Tue 4 Apr 2023

Movieline #101 - 137
Last Modified: Tue 4 Apr 2023

the Wildeside
Last Modified: Tue 4 Apr 2023

Cinemascoop
Last Modified: Tue 4 Apr 2023

Picturephone
Last Modified: Tue 4 Apr 2023

the Moviemaker Page
Last Modified: Tue 4 Apr 2023

Dual Phase Page
Last Modified: Sat 26 Mar 2022

The Gopher Twins
Last Modified: Sat 9 Sep 2023

The Machine 310-833-3339 &
Fluke 310-391-5336
Active Again

CNET Logo

TandemX
C*NET & TandemX are both are VOIP Asterisk based call processing network for Telephone Collectors
Phone Equipment & Exchanges Hooked Up To The Internet

LincMad Area Codes
Including a list of new codes

Telephone World
Information on this useful yet mysterious device called the telephone

Connections Museum (Seattle)
A working Panel and Crossbar electromechanical central-office switches. Working Step-by-Step and Crossbar PBX equipment as well as antique telephones, switchboards, outside plant displays (poles, cables, splicing equipment, and tools) and a reference library.

Evan Doorbell's Phone Tapes
Evan Doorbell Phone Tapes are a well known "documentary" of how the phone system used to sound like in the 1970's.

Left Animated Arrow Picture Gallery Right Animated Arrow

Phone Losers Dot Org Banner

Bill Mills (William Wilde)
William Wilde, Bill Mills Production ©2024

REC Telephone Network
Copyright ©2024 - REC Networks - All Rights Reserved.

The Digital Dog Pound


This icon indicates audio files requiring the RealAudio player.
RealAudio Files

This icon indicates audio files requiring Windows Media player.
Media Player Link

This player below plays MP3 & OGG files for
Android, iPad and other new devices

MP3 & OGG Player

Description of the Dial A Joke type recordings

In the L.A. area, Ben's upbeat message was one of earlier better known ones. Vermont (213- VERMONT or 837-6668) came into existence sometimes in the late 1960's. The Machine (213-833-3339) came next, and then Zzzzzz (213-836-5566), officially it started with six Z's. Zzzzzz was also listed as "A" in the phone book. It had started out not with the intent of playing material over the phone, but of having the first and last listing in the directory.

Vermont and The Machine both used multi-message formats. Each time someone called, they had a chance of hearing a different message.

Sometime after Zzzzzz started receiving calls from curious souls wondering what the phone listing was about, they began playing messages. Originally they played only one message a day, and changed it regularly.


Aardvark
Located in San Diego 222-2111
I didn't hear too many since it was long distance. But at one time you where able to call it from Disneyland for FREE. The old weather phones where restricted to certain digits. The number was 222-2111. Eventually the phones at Disneyland went away.
Thanks to Tom from The Machine and his archives

Aardvark Recordings New2022




Ben
Located near downtown Los Angeles 483-7040
Started in the mid to late 1960's
An inspirational recording telling how great things are and singing of "Happy Days Are Here Again". It was suppose to been out of a motel near downtown Los Angeles.
Al Diamond mentioned on one of his tapes that he had called this recording as far back as 1961
I found a better copy after going through The Machine archive.
Thanks to Tom from The Machine and his archives. I also found an older version among the tapes that Tom Santa Monica sent me. There may have been more because of the tape wearing out.

Ben Recording

Ben Recording New2022
31 Jan 1970




Convex
Culver City Number 559-1974
Northridge Number 993-1974

Stated in 1974
The Northridge number wasn't up for very long. It had some funny jokes. The best was the football players.

Recording #1
Recording #2
Recording #3
Recording #4
Recording #5
Recording #6



Dial-A-Joke
Mark Robbins, Ira Goldstein, Ben Weinberg and Jan Lucas
Located in Reseda 881-2345
then changed to 990-5653 and finally on the mass calling prefix (520) where all of the radio stations have their request numbers, 520-9646. This number did not have the same calling area as the other two. This one was in the Hollywood rate. By then the recordings were rarely changed. I heard that it was in a closet somewhere in Reseda.

I would guess that it started around 1970. A friend, Raymond Childs told me about it while in summer school. He found out about it from a poster on a phone pole. These where the first recordings that I heard.

History of Dial-A-Joke (from Mark Robbins's perspective):

Mark Robbins and Ira Goldstein were living in an apartment on Yarmouth Street in Encino, California. Jan Lucas and Ben Weinberg were visiting. They were listening to a radio skit called Dial-A-Dirty-Joke. The light bulb went off in their minds. Let's start "Dial-A-Joke" where people can call a telephone number and get a joke.

We decided that Jan Lucas would be the voice of Dial-A-Joke, Mark Robbins would be responsible for building and maintaining the answering machine (later to be the custom Dial-A-Joke machine). Ira Goldstein and Ben Weinberg were responsible for content and production of the Dial-A-Joke tapes.

So we hooked up a telephone company answering machine. I believe that it was a Code-A-Phone 770 (it was illegal to hook up anything else in those days) and recorded a joke. As I recall, it was:
You have dialed Dial-A-Joke Two Chickens was talking. The first chicken said "The farmer gets 50 cents a dozen for my eggs". The second chicken said "Well, the farmer gets 55 cents a dozen for my eggs and my eggs are bigger". The first chicken says "I should bust my ass for a lousy nickel? You have dialed Dial-A-Joke"

We also got a rubber stamp made that said
"Dial-A-Joke 881-2345"
and stamped hundreds of business card sized pieces of paper and then passed them out in the local malls.

Immediately, we started receiving back to back calls and Code-A-Phone started to fail under the load. It was clear that we needed a more durable solution. Mark"s solution was an 8 track tape player. About 30 different jokes were recorded on a mobious loop tape (8 track tape). There were two tracks recorded on the tape. The first track had the joke on it. The second track had a beep tone after each joke which turned off the machine. We also put a counter on the machine. When we retired the machine, it had over a million calls logged.

Almost immediately after Dial-A-Joke started, the Pacific Bell telephone exchange was overloaded with calls. Most people were getting a busy signal but quickly discovered that they could talk to each other in the silence between busy signals. The phone company called us and told us that we would need to increase our phone lines from one to 30. A special interface box between our equipment and the phone line was required to be rented from the phone company for $30 each. That would have put us out of business so we created a recording asking listeners to come down to the phone company for a rally. We alerted the press and both radio and television were going to cover the event. We received a call from the local Pacific Bell executive who wanted to meet with us. He came over to our apartment and we had a friend picking up the phone and holding the handset up to a tape player to play the caller a joke (remember it was illegal to connect directly to the phone line). We negotiated three phone lines (instead of 30) with him and we were allowed to connect our machines directly to the phone line. In return, we issued a retraction telling callers not to show up at the rally. Pacific Bell was ready the morning of the rally. They served donuts, juice and coffee for anyone that happened to show up.

On Friday nights, a group of friends came to our apartment and we recorded jokes. On Saturday nights we answered live and met lots of people. Mark met his long time girlfriend Bonnie Cordova on Dial-A-Joke and thereafter his wife Cassandra.

Dial-A-Joke was dissolved when Mark and Ira moved out of their apartment. After Mark moved to Denver in the mid 70's he met Robert Moore and they took the original Dial-A-Joke machine out of moth balls and put it into service for a short time. I don't remember the number.

The link between Dial-A-Joke 881-2345 and Z, ZZ, ZZZ:
My mother wanted to see what Dial-A-Joke was all about. She dialed 981-2345 instead of 881-2345 and reached Joe Klein who was the production manager of Z, ZZ, ZZZ. They talked a while and she called me and said "You have to meet Joe Klein." I met Joe and Bob Bilkiss of Z, ZZ, ZZZ and we became inseparable.

Music Used On Dial-A-Joke
Leo Diamond - Subliminal Sounds

Recordings
1969

Recording #1
Recording #2
Recording #3
Recording #4
All Four Recordings

Reappearing again in August 1973
Located In Sherman Oaks

Recording #1
Recording #2
Recording #3
Recording #4
Recording #5
Recording #6
Recording #7
Recording #8
Recording #9
Recording #10
All Ten Recordings

New Recordings as of November 1973

Recording #11
Recording #12
Recording #13
Recording #14
Recording #15
Recording #16
Recording #17
Recording #18
Recording #19
Recording #20
Recording #21
Recording #22
Recording #23
Recording #24
Recording #25
Recording #26
Recording #27
Recording #28
All 28 Recordings

Some old & new from the Master Tapes
Thanks to Mark Robbins

Recording #1
Recording #2
Recording #3
Recording #4
Recording #5
Recording #6
Recording #7
Recording #8
Recording #9
Recording #10
Recording #11
Recording #12
Recording #13
Recording #14
Recording #15
Recording #16
Recording #17
Recording #18
Recording #19
Recording #20
Recording #21
Recording #22
Recording #23
Recording #24
Recording #25
Recording #26
Recording #27
Recording #28
Recording #29
Recording #30
Recording #31
Recording #32
Recording #33
Recording #34
Recording #35
Recording #36
Recording #37
Recording #38
Recording #39
Recording #40
Recording #41
Recording #42
Recording #43
Recording #44
Recording #45
Recording #46
Recording #47
Recording #48
Recording #49
Recording #50
Recording #51
Recording #52
Recording #53
Recording #54
Recording #55
Recording #56
Recording #57
Recording #58
Recording #59
Recording #60
Recording #61
Recording #62
Recording #63
Recording #64
Recording #65
Recording #66
Recording #67
Recording #68
Recording #69
Recording #70
Recording #71
Recording #72
Recording #73
Recording #74
Recording #75
Recording #76
Recording #77
Recording #78
Recording #79
Recording #80
Recording #81
Recording #82
Recording #83
Recording #84
Recording #85
Recording #86
Recording #87
Recording #88
Recording #89
Recording #90
Recording #91
Recording #92
Recording #93
Recording #94
Recording #95
Recording #96
Recording #97
Recording #98
Recording #99
Recording #100
Recording #101
Recording #102
Recording #103
Recording #104
Recording #105
Recording #106
Recording #107
Recording #108
Recording #109
Recording #110
Recording #111
Recording #112
Recording #113
Recording #114
Recording #115
Recording #116
Recording #117
Recording #118
Recording #119
Recording #120
Recording #121
Recording #122
Recording #123
Recording #124
Recording #125
Recording #126
Recording #127
Recording #128
Recording #129
Recording #130
Recording #131
Recording #132

After this last set of recordings the number was changed to the mass calling prefix 520 (520-9646 or 520-YOHO). After that the recordings where rarely changed. Al Bernay made fun of some of the recordings on his line. The playback equipment was still located in the Reseda area after the phone number change. I heard it was locked up in a closet.




Dial-A-Joke
Run by Mt. Hood Chemicals
Located in Portland Oregon
The Makers of the C-20 laundry soap.
Running through the late 70's. A new recording every weekday.




Dial-A-Joke
Run by The New York Phone Company 212-936-3838
Started in 1974 and running through to the late 70's
Had many famous comics playing for a week with a different joke every weekday. It was on the high volume prefix 936.
New, just found this on Wikipedia 04/2005. One of the guys that worked on these recordings talks about recording the comics.
Link to the Smithsonian Institute




Dial-A-Joke
Run by Steve Wozniak
255-6666 or 575-1625
Two decades ago, Stephen Gary Wozniak owned the first Dial-A-Joke service in the San Francisco Bay area. In 1973, Woz was working for Hewlett-Packard. His Dial-A-Joke service got more than 2,000 calls a day. He rented answering equipment from the phone company and often used a telephone lineman's handset to take calls live from his tiny kitchen in Cupertino or while lying on the mattress in his bedroom. Extremely shy, Woz didn't have much of a chance to talk to women, but he met his first wife, Alice Robertson, when she called Dial-A-Joke. Robertson heard a man say, "I bet I can hang up faster than you" - and then he did. Naturally, she called back. A more elegant object-poem on the nature of modern romance is hard to imagine. There had been so many calls that he had to keep changing the number. Anyone with a similar number would get 100 calls a day. Steve operated Dial-a-Joke out of his Cupertino apartment.

Steve used a thick Eastern accent, like Russian, and used the name Stanley Zebrezuskinitsky when he took live calls.




Dial-A-Joke
Run by James Wayman
Located in DesMoines Iowa, then Crescent City California
976-Joke, then 1-707-487-Joke

Started in 1986
In 1986 James Wayman started the second 976# in the state of Iowa. The first 976# was coach Hayden Frey of the U-of Iowa's sports line. Wayman started Dial a Joke (1-976-Joke). The caller was Billed 75 cents for 3 minutes of jokes. Wayman recorded a new daily 3 minute joke program at midnight. He sold Dial a Joke to start his humor magazine, https://888821.tripod.com After the Des Moines Dial a Joke, Wayman started a free joke line in Crescent City, California.(1-707-487-Joke). Read more on his webpage:
James Wayman's Dial-A-Joke Page




Doi Qua
Run by Mountain Bill
Located in Louisiana




Dr. Don Rose
Smile-A-Phone

Radio Station KFRC 610-AM 415-982-8778
Started sometime in 1977
New recordings every business day.
Dr. Don Rose was the morning DJ on 610 KFRC in San Francisco. Some of the same material was on his radio program. He won some kind of an award for being on some station in Atlanta. The recordings ended in 1980. I use to call it through my work's phone network.
Dr. Don Rose just passed away 3/29/2005.

Recording #1
Recording #2
Recording #3
Recording #4
Recording #5
Recording #6
Recording #7
Recording #8
Recording #9
All of the above recordings




Fluke
Run by The Guys Below
Located in Mar Vista 391-5336
Started in 1974
This line had the best original material. It was not like Convex, Zzzzzz, or the Machine.
Thanks to "Uncle Jeffy" for sending two 90-minutes cassettes of Fluke Recordings from the master tapes and from the 8-track loops.

Uncle Jeffy, Fluke, Brent, & George, Bruce, Kirk
Back Row: Uncle Jeffy, Fluke (Ed with his dog Cinder), Brent, & George
Front Row: Bruce & Kirk
Al Bernay visits Fluke

Al Bernay visits Fluke

Fluke Poster #1      Fluke Poster #2

Fluke Poster #3

Fluke Business Card

Newspaper Article, Ed, George & Jeff
Newspaper Article
Thanks to the guys from "The Wrong Number"
saving it all these years and sending me a copy.
Ed Desser, George Dale and Jeff Deckman


Recordings directly from the phone line.

Electricity
Fluke In Spanish
King And His Throne
King Henry The 8th
The Hat Shop
Waking Up Harry New2022
Recorded from The Machine New2022


Below Are Taken From The Master Tapes & 8-Track Loops




Fluke Intros

Intro #1
Intro #2
Intro #3
Intro #4
Intro #5
Intro #6
Intro #7
Intro #8
Intro #9
Intro #10
Intro #11
Intro #12
Intro #13
Intro #14
Intro #15
Intro #16
Intro #17
Intro #18
Intro #19
All Intros



Cooking With Martha & Uncle Jeffy / Engineer Frank Recordings

Cooking With Martha Uncle Jeffy & Engineer Frank
Chili Con Carne
The Bet
Pineapple Upside-down Cake
Knock Knock Joke
An Italian Specialty
Fishing
Terrible Trouble



Storytime With Uncle Jeffy & Drama Recordings

Storytime With Uncle Jeffy Drama
The Farmer & Nate
Dawson's Creek: Big Jake
Green Peas
Steinbrook Billingsly, Private Eye
The Al Bernay Story
Last Train To Shanghi



Stu As Guest and Commercial Spoofs

Guest Voice Stu Commercials
Dog Doo
Concord Brand
Zackery Some
Alpo Brand Dog Food
Late Late Late Show
Balpha Ada Markets #1
Bad Breath
Jell-O
Gargitan for Women
Blue Chip Stamps
Good For Nothing Kid
Illness Fane
Dying Of Thirst
After The Pepsi Test
Fal Stereo
Starkist Tuna
Want A Baby Kitten
Worthnothin' Dodge
Stu Taping Jeffy's Voice
Molgers Coffee
Overdrawn
Balpha Ada Markets #2
Calling Home



Remaining Fluke Recordings

7-Up Salesman
100,000th Caller
A Fluke Representative
A Hint To Baseball Players
A Statue
Analyzing The Script
Answer Live Night
Antibiotic Woman
Bar Room Life
Battle Of The Network Extras
Behind The Scenes:
The Joke Inspector
Best Idea Contest
Best of Fluke Intro #1
Best of Fluke Intro #2
Bicentennial Briefs
Boy In Department Store
Can You Beat That
Celebrity Roast
Changes #1
Changes #2
Chick Hearn: Lakers Tickets
Coming Attractions At Fluke
Congressman At A Reservation
Cucamunga Int'l Airport
Defective Saw
Dentures
DJ School
Directory Assistance
Dirty Joke Request
Editorial Reply: Pig Latin
Eye Missed It News
Experimental Mice
Falling Asleep
Fluke Editorial:
Women's Movement
Fluke Follies
Fluke Identification
Fluke Money Monster
Gameshow Host At Home
Giant Purple Elephant
Holiday Greetings (1975)
House Of Relief
In The Beginning
Interviewing A 108 Year Old Man
Johann Sebastian Bach
Junk
KILL Radio: Al Bernay
Kipah
KMOO Radio
Knock Knock: Banana
Knock Knock: Madda
Knock Knock: Ring
Locked Out Of Car
Lost Boy & The Old Man
Luckily Unluckily
Missing Patient
Moron Drinking Milk
Most Asked Question
Mouse And The Martini
News For The Hard Of Hearing
No Introduction
On The Line Talk Show
Physical Examination
Poor Manners
Price Of A Chair
Rabid Lady
Response To Answer Live Night
Seasons Greetings
Shooting A Blue Elephant
Short Clip Outtake #1
Short Clip Outtake #2
Short Clip Outtake #3
Short Clip Outtake #4
Sign On The Door
Snot Paper Towels
Special Report On Pickles
Outtake: Spitting Contest
Sports World
Studio Live Easter Week #1
Studio Live Easter Week #2
Talking Dog
Tape Deck
The Better Sounding Fluke
The Butler
The Moron Lady
The Moron Raking Leaves
The Sea And The Falling Rainbow
The Vending Machine
Typical American Kitchen
Typical Housewife
World Of Fluke
Worlds Dumbest Astronauts
Watch Repair Shop
Woman That Thinks She's A Dog
Zoologist Sidney Cromwell



IT
Bill, Dean, Michael & Raymond
Located in Mar Vista 391-1111 & 397-2774
Started Around 1970
During the first few weeks of "IT", the phone number was 397-2774. That number was soon replaced by 391-1111. The phone line was located at Bill's parents' house.

The "IT" answering machine was their own design, using relays, open-reel endless tape loops, and some other hacked-together stuff. An AC-powered electromechanical call counter (which Dean still has) went CLICK-CLACK when the machine would take a call. In the wee hours of the morning, the call counter could wake the dead.

Back then, linerunners all lived in fear of the phone company. Putting your own answering machine on the phone line was illegal, unless you had a DAA provided by the phone company, which hardly anyone did. The "IT" guys eventually got in hot water with the phone company, and had to rent a DAA from General Telephone.

General Telephone sent out a phone man who had no clue of how to install a DAA. After giving up on installing the DAA, the phone man suggested that they just continue using the machine hooked directly to the line. The phone man told them that, as long as they paid for the DAA, there wouldn't be any trouble. He wasn't about to admit to his supervisor that he couldn't figure out how to install the DAA, so the secret was safe with him. The DAA just sat, gathering dust, and General Telephone never bothered them again.

The answering machine was housed in a wooden box, which they nicknamed "Pandora's Box", since opening it would often cause the circuitry to fail. There were lots of wires running every which way. A later design was built on a homemade printed circuit board. Tape, donuts and ferric chloride were the technology. They taped directly onto copper-clad board, and etched it in a Pyrex beaker while heating it over Bill's mom's stove. No matter how careful they were, ferric chloride stains ended up everywhere.

There was a soft drink back then called "Simba". The ads for it were just screaming to be made fun of. The ads featured a gruff-voiced announcer telling about how, when on an African safari,

"The African sun beats down on you.
The African thirst strikes!
You reach for -- Simba. SIMBA!!
IT GOES FOR THE THROAT!!".....
New2022

One of IT's most popular recordings was a tape called "Bimba", making fun of those ads.

Three It Recordings New2022

More It Recordings New2022

Dean, Raymond, Billy & Michael

IT Sticker




Laffline
Located in Northridge 993-1010
Started in 1973
"You've Reached That Far Out Feeling Of Friendly Phone Fun"
Laffline had good original content. A bit like Fluke and "Z".
I won an album from their answer live night in 1975. Their sponsor was "Moby Disc" in Van Nuys when it was on Victory near Van Nuys Blvd.

Recordings
from the phone

Stuff 'n' Mold
RealAudio Link
DJ School
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Vegetable Matic
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Speed Reading
RealAudio Link
Stupid Questions
RealAudio Link

Recordings from the Master Tapes

New June 2021

Track #1

Track #2

Track #3

Track #4

Track #5

Track #6

Track #7

Track #8



Promo #1
Promo #2
Promo #3
Promo #4
Promo #5
Promo #6
VOC1
VOC2
VOC3
VOC4
VOC5
VOC6
Shell Answer Man
Used Callsigns

Reel #2a

411
Advice
Analogy #1
Daffy Deffinitions - Light
Bills 2 Pay
Bluebox
Carrots
Daffy Deffinitions - Molotov
Disconnected
Etiquette
Diahrea
Daffy Deffinitions - Sheet
Don't Shoot Up
Dripstan
Electric
Jokeline Exorcism Part 1
Time Lady
Gibbons
The Bar
Jokeline Exorcism Part 2
Disconnected
Insomnia
Falling Rock
General Eccentric
Logo Contest
Jello
Joke Week
Pacific Hospital
Live Promo #1
Leak
Line Man
Radio Station
Live Promo #2
Old Tapes
Mike Kramer
Staff Meeting
Seymour #1
Pick
Repair
Stupid Questions #5
Seymour #2
Steal
Star Trek
Stupid Questions #6

Reel #2b

Second audio reel.
Accident
Analogy #2
Apple
Answer Live #2
Butcher
Canibals
Brown
Answer Live #3
Cheese
Chicken
Chuckle
Answer Live #4
Circus
Dough
Elephant
Charlie Tuna
Flat
Germs
Grumpy
Greek Urn
Gulp
Hair Biz
Hang Up
Good And Bad
Helena
Mental
Nixon
Help Thy Neighbor
Operation
News Flash
Pencils
KKHeyHey Radio
Pardon Me
One Liners
Pollution New2022
Poster Contest #1
Proverbs
Quickie
Secretary
Poster Contest #2
Saps
Sea Food
Streak
Stupid Questions #1
Smoking
Something
The Bet
Stupid Questions #2
Whine
Stu Smokestak
Unfinished
Stupid Questions #3
Unusual City
Waste Away
Water
Stupid Questions #4
Winner
Worthless



The Machine
Run By Tom, Steve & Tom
San Pedro 833-3339 (Back On Their Old Numbeer)
Mar Vista 822-2329
Orange County 714-833-3339

The Machine was started on September 12, 1968
The original members were Tom and Tom, then Steve. Very quickly then Robin, Holly, Lewis , Jerry, Paul, Mike, Mike (two of them). Still later add Carl and Jose.
The Machine was once disconnected for frying the step-by-step equipment it was on. Having peaked at more than 2,000 calls in one day on a single line in a residential connector group, you can imagine. A worried switch man said that, of eight local connectors serving the phone numbers which were then 213-833-33XX, one was almost always connected to The Machine. One was almost always broken because of the high volume. At least half of the rest were dialing in or listening to a busy signal.
Sometime after that, it re-emerged with a different number. 213-833-2405. For about one year, it operated with 5 lines in rotary. Later, when the 833 prefix was moved from step to ESS#5, The Machine moved back to 833-3339.
The Machine operated on a variety of other numbers, including 213-836-5556 (selected to be in the miss-dialing shadow for Zzzzzz), and 714-833-3339 and 213-822-2329 among them. All of these were considered satellite numbers to the "The Machine Telephone Entertainment Network". The term was mockingly pretentious.

The Machine runs on rare occasion right now. Need new gear, and have little time to set it up -- let alone make decisions as to what gear to get.

Most of its recordings are archived in storage. The cast and crew (first, second and third companies) have all scattered to different parts of the country and world. Many of the recordings are now very dated. There are some commercial products, for example, that are now more outlandish than some of our satires.

Comment: I use to call the number once in a while at 833-3339. Later came the number for Mar Vista 822-2329. That was local to me since I lived in Van Nuys at the time. My group of friends had the opportunity to run the Mar Vista area's Machine. Our project ended and we couldn't provide a new home for it.

Full Tapes

LIBRARY 1 BOX 006
The New End January 5th
LIBRARY 1 BOX 014
Misc Recordings & Takes
Favorites
From tape Library 2 Box 001New2022

In The Beginning New2023
Wont Make Me Laugh
Mentions Other LinesNew2022
To Write Or Not To Write New2023
Tessy Throw-Up Stereo New2023
Rumor Control New2022
Rumor Control 2 New2022
Surprises New2022
In The Beginning Plus Caller (Stereo) New2022
Scientific Home Project New2022
Or Not To Write New2022
Forcasting The News New2022
Saliva New2022
Senator Throm Sterman New2022
Pickles New2022
Callers Write In New2022
Callers Write In 2 New2022
Callers Write In 3 New2022
Callers Write In 4 New2022
Counting Money New2022
Super Agnew Announcement New2022
Full Moon New2022
Machine City Highway New2022
I Am The Machine New2022
YoYo Dress New2022
Get Down Machine New2022
Machine Machine New2022
Sex Week 2 New2022
Super Agnew Announcement 2
Spiro Agnew Shoe Polish New2022
Pie (Stereo) New2022
How The Machine Works New2022
An Operator Eating Spider New2022
Farquar New2022
Short Recordings New2022
Another Pun Joke New2022
Colgate Laboratories
Happy Together
Pigmy Shrew
Potty Training
Search For Something
Tap Water
Witchy Friends
Pigmy Shrew Hiding
Explodz
Skinny Time New2022
Snavon Lady
Speed Of Sound
Drink
Pizza Hole
Bagel Lox Off
Pizza Roll
Bagel Roll
Drinks
Cheap Beeps

Recording #1
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Recording #2
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Recording #3
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Recording #4
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Recording #5
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Recording #6
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Recording #7
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Recording #8
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link



Mainline
Located in North Hollywood 765-6000
Started in 1973
Stu gave me this number when he was running "The Shokus Hotline" when he had a "Request Night". It must have started in 1973. It ran for two years and revived in 1979 by Bryan W. Feedback for two more years. I wish I still had my copies of the Mainline.

Here is an exerpt from one of the guys that ran Mainline (6/2/2006):
That was run by a very close friend of mine, Mike Levey. In fact just last year I actually set the old Mainline equipment out in the trash after storing it for the past 25 + years. I may even have the original recordings some place. The old tapes from the mainline were on 4-track and were lost many years ago due to water damage.

The system used Altec line amplifiers to connect to the phone line, it was illegal back then to hook anything to the phone line so we were kind of skirting the law. A home made breadboard was used to sense ringing and connect the line to the amplifiers and turn on the tape. The tape machines were 4 track type made by Telex with foil sensors for EOT.

We only had 3 lines in rotary and they were always busy. Now and then we would put an old Code-a-phone answering machine on it and hear what people thought about it and where they were from. They were from all over the country, a lot of phone operators and telephone linemen would call to test their lines and listen to the latest jokes.

Mike, of infomercial fame, was one of the people that started the mainline and it is his wife at the time, Paula that you hear as the sexy bimbo in many of the recordings. It is a shame that your recordings are of such poor quality, all of the originals were done on 15 ips 2 track tapes in a real recording studio in Hollywood, and the quality was perfect.

The Mainline was actually built as a prototype to sell to places like MacDonald's and Jack in the Box. The plan was that we would place a machine at each of the stores and supply them with fresh material on a monthly basis with a short advertisement at the end for the company. It was getting a bit of interest but for some reason no one wanted to be the first one so we gave up on it and all went our separate ways. I had hosted it at my house for a year at 213-783-8738 (back when Encino was 213) for a year before I finally shut it down and stored it in the garage. By then the material was getting old and no one had the time to go play in the studio.

Mike who started it went on to infomercial fame with his show Amazing Discoveries and Ask Mike, and did very well for himself. Sadly he passed away from asbestos induced cancer. Not sure where that came from as he never worked with it as far as we know.

Mainline Sticker Mainline Rack

Recordings

LINK - Evan Doorbell Tapes Mainline 1974
- CLICK HERE

Recording #1
Recording #2
Recording #3
Recording #4
Recording #5
Recording #6
Recording #7
Recording #8
Recording #9
Recording #10
Recording #11
Recording #12
Recording #13
Recording #14
Recording #15
Feedback Intro



Marshall O'Dell
Run by Marshall O'Dell
Located in the San Fernando Valley
Started in the late 1970's



"R"
Run by Randy 454-1904 11/30/2022
Located in Pacific Palisades 454-1904
Started in 1971
"You've Dialed 454-1904, The Home Of "R".
They had a write up in the Los Angeles Times and at one time had to shut down temporarily because of the phone calls overloading the central office. It came back on again but for a short while. Some of the material I had heard on available records. Two skits where from a stereo test record that Radio Shack sold from "Audio Fidelity Records". One was the "Elevator" and the other was "Russian Roulette".

LA Times Article Page 1

LA Times Article Page 2

Recording For 25 March 1974 New2022




Superfone
Run by Joe Klein, with partners, John LaSalle, & Dick Peabody
Located in Sherman Oaks 986-9800
Started in 1973

Formally known as John Shannon, producer and the primary voice of Zzzzzz, Superfone was started by Klein and his partners as an early attempt to monitize a world wide network, specifically the telephone network. The line was run out of Joe's apartment in Sherman Oaks. The plan was to create a series of comedy recordings and, later, audio cartoon serials for major fast food retailers. Mark Robbins of "Dial-A-Joke" fame designed and built the answering system and had also designed innovative circuitry allowing the callers to blow into a "Secret Whistle" obtained at the restaurant to access the program material. Although the whistle-access technology was never actually implemented, Superfone served as the pilot program to demonstrate the concept to the corporations and advertising agencies. It was also used as a research tool to gather call statistics (ie. calls received, busy signals, etc.) to supply to prospective advertisers. At first, random comedy skits in the genre of "Z" ran on the line. Later on, the first series, "The Adventures Of Napkin Man" was featured, followed by a "spinoff" series entitled "The Life Of Rodney."

The line was operated for less than a year and discontinued when the fast food chains that the promotion was created for decided that the technology involved would be too costly to implement on a national scale.

Klein's last foray into telephone entertainment was about ten years later when he started a promotional telephone recording line called the "Spotline." This was a line used to promote Klien's production company, L.A. Trax, Inc., which was the leading producer of commercials for major label record albums. The "Spotline" featured a new national radio spot from the company every week and operated for aproximately one year in the early 1980's.

In 2005 Klein started a new company, The Podcast Voice Guys, which specializes in producing voice overs and fully produced audio elements for major podcasts worldwide.

Podcast Voice Guys.com

Recordings 1972 - 1974

Recording #1
RelAudio Link       Media Player Link
Recording #2
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
University Medical Center
Contest Of The Century
Discount Appliance Company
Little Orphan Annie
Make Your Request
Season's Greetings
Secret Fruit Of The Month
Tapping The Line
Telephone Driving Instructor
The Mad Doctor
Tongue Twister Of The Week
Man On The Street

The Adventures Of Napkinman

Napkinman Episode #1
Napkinman Episode #2
Napkinman Episode #3
Napkinman Episode #4
Napkinman Episode #5
Napkinman Episode #6

Napkinman Episode #7
Napkinman Episode #8

The Life Of Rodney Series

Recording #4
Recording #5
Recording #6
Recording #7
Recording #8
Recording #9
Recording #10
Recording #11
Recording #12
Recording #13
Recording #14
Recording #15
Rodney & Lester Poster Offer
Answer Live Night Announcement



Tummies
Located in Northridge 886-6437
Started Sometime in 1975 running until 1977
One of the first lines Nino was involved with.
The number spelled out "Tummies" 886-6437. After the line went down, I heard some of the recordings that where left on one of the comment lines. The recordings where very short starting with "You've Dialed Tummies". They must have been 10-seconds or less each.

Recordings That Played On Fluke 1975
From Master Tape

Recordings That Played On Fluke
From Master Tape

More, Thanks To Tom Santa Monica
New2022

And More, Thanks To Tom Santa Monica
New2022

The End, Thanks To Tom Santa Monica
New2022




 Uncle Bill 
Located in San Pedro 548-6000
Uncle Bill was born after "The Machine"went away. Two of the 3 main people that ran The Machine are friends of Uncle Bill. The actual answering machine that was first used for Uncle Bill was the old one Tom had built for"The Machine". It worked fine, just kept killing 8 track tape players. At its peek Uncle Bill received about 1200 calls a day. The master tapes still exist on reel-to-reel as well as copied onto cassette.

Here is one recording:
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link




Vermont
Located in Culver City 837-6668
Maybe the oldest of all the joke lines.
Not very many recordings made. It was off the hook most of the time. They ran the same type of recordings as "Zzzzzz". Heard that they where neighbors with the people that ran "Zzzzzz", in the same apartment complex in Palms.




Wit Wire
Run by Steve
Woodland Hills 348-7072
Started in 1975




The Wrong Number
Run by Rich Hurley & Jim Parkyn
Voices: Rick Hurley, Jim Parkyn, David Wolf & Dean Mertz
Several Numbers in 714 & 213
Ran during late 70's.  The Wrong Number was started long before Zygot but well after "Z".
It sounded like a mixture of recordings that where a cross between Zygot and recordings from Zzzzzz. There where several numbers located around the 714 & 213 areacode.

There used to be an answering machine that was dubbed "The Ear". It was run by a group called SERTOMA,"Service To Mankind". It actually attempted to administer a hearing test over the phone lines!!! It appeared to meet the old PacBell rules about non-danger to phone lines by being battery powered (no AC power connections). There would be contests to see how many calls it would take to bring the Ear down. One day Rich, who had quite a nice home-built recording studio, taped the Ear and then re-dubbed it with sound effects, music, and comments. Jim said that we should have our own Ear, or "The Other Ear" and built a VERY crude answering machine using a cassette player.

The original Ear's number was 714-532-5252 so I obtained 714-535-5252 in an Anaheim step office. Rich modified his dubbed Ear tape to say something like

"If you were trying to reach SERTOMA, you've gotten

'THE WRONG NUMBER'

Hence, the name stuck and even 411 Operators knew to refer people to 535-5252!

One of the best PR occurrences was when either Jobs or Wozniak admitted on a TV talk show that he used to phone phreak and would call the Wrong Number.....

The machines went through a number of 'morphings but the final "Mass Production" version was as follows;

Funeral Map

Business Card 1      Business Card 2

8_Track_Tapes
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Change_Shifts
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Childrens Levity Fund
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Scrooge
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link
Wisdom
RealAudio Link       Media Player Link

Master Tapes
Thanks to Rich Hurley & Jim Parkyn

Wrong Number Theme
Wrong Number Calls 2
Wrong Number Chipmunk Call
Timothy Leary Wrong Nuimber
Wrong Number Commercial 1
Wrong Number Commercial 2
Phone Wars 1
Phone Wars 2
Phone Wars 3
Original Wrong Number
Little Man
Prank Phone Call Hoover Vacuum Cleaner Company
Mysteries Beyond Belief
Phone Shopping Network with Richie Rippenoff
American Upsidedown Builders Commercial
Chunk Wagon
Chisseler Restaurant
Enclyclopedia Matchbook
Garbo the Robot
Jr Pesticide Kit
Lorenzo No Frills Airline Commercial
Telephone Repair Service
Rheemco Master Baster
200 Years Ago
Anti Drug Commercial
au revoir Perfume Fred May Tribute
Bongo Bonanza
Children's Levity Fund
Announcer: David Wolf
Chisler Mail Order Steak House
First Motor Church of Christ
Give Me Back the Presidency
Hollywood Flem Bank
House of Phones Commercial
Nictaphone Lack of Communication Satellite
Secret of Life
Richard M Nixon I did it Contest
Voices: David Wolf & Dean Mertz
Nixon's voice by David Wolf
Noas Ark
Pisson Oil Commercial
Telephone Breath Test with PU Music
Telephone Breath Test 2
Trade School Management School Cheerleaders
Telephone Shopping Network Digital Talking Toilet
For A Good Time Call 979-1000
Secret of Life
Lie Wittness News 1 San Leaky
Lie Wittness News 2 Illeagal Fudger
Lie Wittness News 3 Commercial
Lie Wittness News Commercial Bed Outtake
Lie Wittness News 4 Beef Snorting
Lie Wittness News 5 Pisson Oil Flag Burning
Lie Wittness News 6 Cock Fight
Lie Wittness News Nixon Sex Change Operation
Jimmy Carters Answering Machine Messages 1
Jimmy Carters Answering Machine Messages 2
Jimmy Carters Answering Machine Messages 3
Suicide Hotline
Television
Wrong Number Language Course Indian
Voiced by Dean Mertz
Wrong Number Language Course Japanese
Voiced by Dean Mertz
Wrong Number Stinger
Wrong Number Stinger 2
Wrong Number Stinger 4



Zygot
Run by Joe "Zygot"
with the help of many

Numbers in 714, 213, 415, 602 & 215
Started in 1978 and is still going today
It started in Orange County by "The Link's" Joe Zygot. Later spreading throuout Los Angeles. So many that there where three communities that where not local to one. Zygot had spread to Philadelphia, Phoenix, & the San Francisco area.

news article range County News    news Article part 1




News Article part 2    News Article part 3




News Article part 4    News Article part 5

- Recorded Off The Phone -
714-839-3000 | 714-839-3030 | 714-894-9000
Irrational Enquirer
Intro:
And The Beat Goes On
Joe Zygot #1
Joe Zygot #2
Joe Zygot #3
Bubblegum
Candle Factory
Just Got Married
Just A Joke
Little Man In The Freezer
Lobster Joke
Old Math
New For 1980
California Roast Wokie
Stronger
Swimming
The Wrong Number Plug
Universal Studios Farm
Radio Station FUN-Q
- Recorded From The Master Tape -
Fern Meadows Mortuary


Featuring Bryan W. Feedback
The Future


Also Featuring Bryan
Man Here To See You
After The Zygot Challenge
After The Zygot Challenge 2
Bubblegum
Caller's Joke
With Delight
Dial-A-Prayer's
Directroy
Three Men In A Tub
Film At 11 #1
Film At 11 #2
Film At 11 #3
Film At 11 #4
Film At 11 #5
Film At 11 #6
Film At 11 #7
First Day Of School
First Plane Trip
Friskies
Grades
Zygot Groanies
H2O
Halloween
JTE Phonemart
Little Man In The Teapot
Little Man In The Bathtub
The National Bald Test
Zygot Numbers - Star Wars Theme
Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice
Popping Out Of Bed
Restaurant Manager
California Roast Wokie Sandwich
Showering
Suicide
Learning To Swim
Elevator
Stolen Towels
Wallpaper
Write To Zygot
Cat & Mouse
For Zygot Personel Only
For Zygot Personel Only 2
Zygot Outtakes
Candle Factory
Zygot Numbers

Zygot Newsletter
Check Out The Newsletters




Zzzzzz
Run by Bob Bilkiss 1991
Located in Culver City 837-5566, 836-5556, 836-5566
It began in February 1970
Originally 837-5566 on a Step-By-Step exchange. When the call volume rose to about 800 calls a day the phone folks moved it to a crossbar line which could better handle large call volumes, and that is when the 836-5566 number came in.
"The Last Listing In The Los Angeles Telephone Directory"One of The Oldest Of The Phone Recording lines first running on a Code-A-Phone 700. It first started out at his parents house and then it moved into his apartment in a very large apartment complex in Palms. Started I guess on or just before 1968. One of the original "Z" 8-track machines is still sitting in a garage in a box collecting dust. All of the master tapes still exist. They are on tapes with final recordings and are mixed up with original takes. If there are any old-timers that remember a recording that went"This moment of softness, has been brought to you by Z. ZZ. ZZZ."outro, which had some "Music Box" type music behind it. Anyone know what that music was from?

Here's a clue--it was the intro music (which then continued in the background after the main melody of the piece started) arranged in a particular manner for a specific rendition of a very well known song. As such, it was not the*melody*line of the song itself. It can be heard Muzak music systems and such occasionally. It is a song the melody of which, and the words to which, most adults in the U.S. would know.

Z Business Card      Z Business Card

Z Flier

Z Flier

Z Poster

Los Angeles Times, Thursday February 25, 1971
Picture and Article Strip, More of the Article Strip, Remainging part of the article

Article, Last In Phonebook Is First On Laughs

Recordings

Evan Doorbell Tapes
1971 - 1974 Part 1

Evan Doorbell Tapes
1971 - 1974 Part 2

Evan Doorbell Tapes
1974 - 1976


Recorded by The Machine

Recorded by The Machine New2022

Recording #1

Lloyd from Uncle Bill
Call-In To Zzzzzz
New2023



"Z" Playing "Dial-A-Joke" Recordings

Z Announces Dial A Joke Recordings New2022
Recording #1
Recording #2
Recording #3
Recording #4
Recording #5
Recording #6
Recording #7
Recording #8
Recording #9
Recording #10
Recording #11
Recording #12
Recording #13


This Site Powered By Jolt Cola      MADE WITH 100% RECYCLED BITS

RonaldGibson AT SignHOTMAIL.com

A Sample Bannercast Banner

Apache Webserver      PHP

©1997 - 2024 Batteryman's Bookmarks. This site is protected by copyright and trademark laws
under U.S. and international law. All rights reserved.
All Recordings Belong To Their Creators


The Fair Use Law
17 U.S.C. 107 (1988 & Supp. IV 1993). Section 107 provides in part:
Notwithstanding the provisions of sections 106 and 106A, the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use by reproduction in copies or phonerecords or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research is not an infringement of copyright. In determining whether the use made of a work in any particular case is a fair use the factors to be considered shall include:
1. The purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes;
2. The nature of the copyrighted work;
3. The amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole; and
4. The effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.